When I was a little girl, and sometimes even to this day I struggle with the fact that I don't fit in and I AM different from everyone around me. It's often extremely difficult on me to sit at home and watch, or think, of all these people that I call my friends go out and spend time together, have fun, laugh, talk, and just enjoy each others' company every weekend while I on the other hand have spent every weekend known to man except a small number which I could probably count on two maybe even one hand at home by myself in self pity.
Recently however I have been getting a lot of convicting thoughts and reminders from God about all indulging in self-pity. I know I shouldn't think thoughts that hurt myself or are hateful toward myself, but it is SO hard sometimes and I just get trapped in the thoughts and they continue to drag me down deeper and deeper. Yeah, I live in a Christian community, but that doesn't mean I'm going to fit in. When I was a young girl I ran across this poem/letter in our house at one point. When I first saw it I kind of blew it off and didn't bother reading it, but a few months later I found it again and it made me cry like I had never cried before.
I know you want to be accepted by others, but you
were not made to fit in. You, My princess, were created
to stand out. Not to draw attention to yourself,
but to live the kind of life that leads others to Me.
Remember, it’s your choices that will pave your path
to life. I will not force you to do anything. I have given
you a free will to walk with Me or to walk away from
Me. I want you to know that you can put on your
crown at any time and let people know that you
belong to Me. You have a royal call on your life. I want
you to remember you wear the crown of everlasting
life, and through you I will do abundantly more than
you would ever dare to dream.
Love,
Your King and Crown Giver
This letter comes from a book by Sheri Rose Sheperd called His Princess: Love Letters from Your King. It truly is amazing how some things can just hit a chord at just the right time in your life. (Thanks to the Big Guy of course)
Again, I do live in a small community where Christianity is what everyone does, but sometimes I feel like it just isn't enough. I feel like we're stuck in a rut where we are and we aren't willing to move forward. I want so badly to move forward in my relationship with Christ but it IS hard. I know part of it is my own fault, but I also believe part of it is from this community. I have said it so many times before, but I do believe Satan has quite the hold on this community even if it doesn't look like it all the time. I can feel it so heavily sometimes that it is paralyzing. It's scary. It's downright depressing. I fight until my heart is broken and worn out to try and get others to strive for Christ every day even more than they do already. We are complacent anymore about where we stand as Christians because we live in fear of being politically correct or of being condemned ourselves by those around us.
Really, the fact of the matter is, we all live in fear of pointing out that someone else is sinning and hating us for it. I believe that the word judge that we use so often in our daily lives has been distorted. We are not to judge someone, but how is telling a brother that they are sinning judging them? We ARE told to point out a brother's sin aren't we? If we don't aren't we just allowing them to fall even farther away from God? God tells us to point a sin out to brother and if they hate you for it you are to bring two more people with you to point it out. If they still do not listen you are to let the matter go.
WHY DON'T WE DO THIS DEED GOD HAS CALLED US TO DO?!
We are to help lead one another to Christ in a loving manner. If that requires standing out so be it! Be BOLD in Christ. Yes, you may lose some friends in the process, but we are reminded that why should we gain the whole world just to lose our very soul? You can count it all as loss. If you lose a friend because you are following Christ and seeking to become more like Him and you desire with all your heart to serve Him.... maybe they weren't the kind of person you should have been letting invest in your life. I don't say that to be mean, but out of the overflow of the heart the mouth speaks. It's the truth.
So dare to be bold in Christ, you'll lose friends, gain enemies, and find even greater allies along the way. But most importantly, you will find the ONE thing that matters most in life....God. It won't be easy, and it will have trials along the way. But I always try to remember this: If Jesus Christ endured the pain of dieing on the cross and I added to that pain why am I complaining? He felt the hurt of every single one of my sins, your sins, and the world's sins. I'm feeling short lived pain that will pass in a mere matter of moments to God. If I love God as much as Jesus Christ loves us and His father and was willing to give up His life for me, I can go through this momentary pain. I may not like it all the time, and yes it DOES hurt, but I have THE GREATEST GIFT I CAN EVER RECEIVE WAITING FOR ME after this is all over. And I can't wait until that day.
So how about you, are you ready to be BOLD and stand up for Christ?!
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