Is This the Right Mission for Me?

As many of you may know, I went on several trips this summer. Two of which were mission trips. Now, most people might think all mission trips are the same, but let me tell you this: THEY AREN'T!!! I have now been on three different trips to three different locations and none has been anything like the other. So right about now I'd like to do a little plug about going on a mission trip!

I don't want to sound like everyone else who has gone on a mission trip, but they truly are an amazing experience in your life. It might not seem like it at that moment, but there are amazing things going on... More than you know. Then again, however, you might feel it right at the very moment you set foot onto the ground you will be ministering on. Whether that is ministering with words, works, or both, it doesn't go unnoticed no matter how small you might think it seems.

Now as for the two trips I went on this year, they were very different and I got two very different lessons from both of them. The first trip was a more evangelical based mission trip where we went out and taught about God's word and loved on people as we went while the other was very work based... but I'm getting ahead of myself. I'll tell you about that later on! When it comes to preparing however, I highly encourage the group to get together and get to know one another and train in how to share the word of God and learn more about what you will be doing, praying over each other and the trip, and growing closer as a team so you can further the Kingdom even more. It might seem like a hassle, but we had 6 months of training before out trip... No, not every day, more like every other Sunday, but it is genuinely worth it in the long run!! And as for the money component of any Christ based purpose, if it's a problem... it's not a problem, God will provide if you are to go on the trip. Trust me, I've seen amazing things happen in that situation.

So, now that I've kind of introduced you to my mission trip experience I am going to dive a little deeper into both of them by letting you read my thank you letter to my "support-letter" providers. I was so blessed this year to receive the monetary support needed to attend both of my trips by writing a letter and praying that God would provide. So here you go, and enjoy! :)

Sorry it has taken me so long to get this thank you letter out! Between all three of my trips and getting back home and helping on the farm I have been super busy and am just getting around to having a little free time to think and get things organized. So, I thought I would take the time to share a little about each of my mission trips with you.

            I would first like to say thank you for the support you gave me to go on these trips, between the monetary support and the prayers from everyone every single ounce of prayer and money was essential for me to go on my two mission trips.  These trips were great for my spiritual growth and learning… trust me, three trips in a matter of a little over three weeks takes a toll on your patience and emotions!

            I must say, however, I enjoyed both mission trips nonetheless. After getting home from my senior trip I was not only physically drained from little sleep, but also emotionally drained from all the happenings of drama that will always occur with a class our size. However, I happily unpacked, washed and repacked my clothes in hopes of a WONDERFUL mission trip to Kansas City, and it was wonderful to say the least. We had the opportunity to go door to door and invite members of the community to an event called Community United where we had several bands, singers, pastors, and speakers in the local park just up the street from Hope Community Church, the church we were helping this year. They also had a face painting booth, a prayer booth, and free food for all. This event was amazing; we saw many miracles, as small as someone’s arthritic thumb being relieved of pain and as large as a man’s wife who was going to die within three weeks being prayed over and now the doctors say she will live, and many lives were given to Christ. The following day, Sunday, we helped Hope Community Church by giving the sermon and leading worship for their service. We also raised enough money along the way to bless them with a large donation to their church and Pastor Manny and his wife Shannon for a weekend to recharge. Our group was also able to clear a large “fellowship hall” that was filled wall to wall with items of all sorts the following day. Our youth pastor Cody Tupps made a comment at the beginning that he didn’t think we would have enough time to clean everything up, let alone get it organized and usable! Nonetheless, we were able to declutter, clean, and organize everything by about 3 o’clock that day! The room now has three teaching areas which they planned to use for the VBS they would have the week after we were there, an area for the youth to relax and get together, and an area with a kitchen prep type area with a fridge, freezer, and space to prepare things if need be. On our final day of work we went to an organization by the name of reStart where families can go when in need of transitional housing; some stay for two weeks while others stay for two years, depending on their amount of need determined by the application process. Here my group was able to clean a one room apartment from a previous family that would soon be used for another. After completing this, we went and spent some time at the park across from reStart playing with kids, talking with families, and just showing people the love of God! It was amazing to see our group grow together and work for the same purpose this whole week in Kansas City, and I must say, our night rallies where we got together and worshipped God were AMAZING!

            Now, seeing as I have only gone on mission trips with my youth pastor’s groups for the entirety of my first two mission trips ever, I had no clue what to expect on this next trip. Not only did I not know what to expect, but I was spiritually and emotionally drained.  There was no training, no group coming together, and no real connection of the group I guess you could say. However, our trip to Jacksonville was still a great way to serve God’s people as well. Because I am used to Cody’s type of trip, I was expecting more of an evangelical trip, but this trip was basically service projects the whole way through.  Our first day was definitely the most labor intensive; we worked with Habitat for Humanity Beaches JAX where we helped put the finishing touches on a house. Here we laid 4,000 square feet of sod, and they weren’t fresh squares of sod or rolls of sod either, they were dead, heavy, rained on pieces of sod!! Wow, they were a workout times about ten! J But as with most Western Kansas mindsets, we wanted to get as much work done as we possibly could, and I’m pretty sure we did. After completing this job around four in the afternoon we then went to The Salvation Army to serve a meal to the homeless. This would have to be my favorite part of the whole trip because although it might be a slight scare or danger to some people, I was able to humble myself from my place in life and show compassion to those around me and I loved every second of it. I was even told thank you by a gentleman because he said I was such a blessing to the Kingdom, and that made my heart melt! It’s so nice to know I can touch someone by simply handing them a plate of food or sharing a smile and saying you’re welcome. Now, the next day we were all certainly tired and sore, but we kept on pushing as we went back to The Salvation Army and sorted and bagged food for their food bank. We were able to package enough sacks of food to help the volunteers and workers to have enough bags for about two or three weeks! After eating another wonderful meal provided by The Salvation Army we headed over to Second Harvest which is another food bank type organization. Here we sacked bags of food for families that were USDA bags, several cleaned up many pallets of spilled milk, organized shelves, and sorted through 4,000 pounds of cans that would be able to feed 3,800 people. Later that evening and Thursday evening we also went to an apartment complex for refugees from places such as Nepal, Mexico, Bhutan, and Honduras where we held a “VBS” where we played games, acted out Bible stories, sang songs and lead actions, and had a snack with the kids. This was a great experience for many of the group to see different ethnic groups and interact and love the kids as well! Thursday morning was a little less physical on us as we went to Habitat’s ReStore where we sorted and organized tile, measured and marked window frames, and rolled carpet for them. This store, however, is run completely on donations and offers home essentials at a mere fraction of the cost something might cost normally, and many of the items in the store are still in GREAT shape to be used by whoever needs them.

            So, although I am extremely worn out in the physical, emotional, and spiritual part of things at the moment, it was very much worth it. Three trips with three VERY different focuses taught me very different things, and while my first trip wasn’t a mission trip, it helped me appreciate the family I am in, how I was raised, and the God who loves me!

            Again, thank you SO much for the support you gave me to endure and enjoy the joys, trials, and adventures of these trips! I have enclosed a DVD that has our Kansas City mission trip highlights on it for you to check out; the music on the DVD varies from the music of Christian rappers Lecrae, Hood Saint, and Rep One (Hood Saint and Rep One performed at Community United), and also the music for Megan Isaacson from Denver who joined us on our trip to be our worship leader (you’ll see her and two of our team members perform on stage in the video). Hope you enjoy it, and thank you again!

So there you have it.. it's not exactly short, but if I were to wrap this all up in a few words it would be these: Don't let fear or lack of experience take you away from a trip with God... Take a leap of faith and further His Kingdom :)

Build It Up! Don't Break It Down!

I know not many people ever even see my posts, and that's ok. (I do wish I had the guts to be willing to let more people read it though...) And I often wonder why I even bother posting a new post every so often. To be honest, I guess it just helps me keep track of some of the things going on in my life and where God has brought me. So if you happen to be reading this blog, I thank you for at least glancing at my posts even if you don't read the whole thing. I know I can be long winded when it comes to writing so I apologize in advance! :)

Today and in the recent weeks I have been brutally reminded of where I should be in my relationship with God and how off track I keep getting. I love living in a small community in the fact that I and those around me were raised and instilled with manners and common sense to help us make it in life, and we are very fortunate to have these values! But in recent days as I have been thinking about how quickly I will be leaving this town and moving onto bigger and more amazing things I see how faulted our community is as well. I know each community has it's downfalls and we aren't exempt from them either. I really feel like we have been nit-picking one another on how things should be done and how things are being gone about. In short, we're tearing each other down for the things that we shouldn't be.

If you are to look at each family's morals and standards you are guaranteed to see differences in them no matter what. I don't think that is bad at all because we were each raised in a certain way... obviously. However, I don't feel we should be tearing each other down because of a decision that is going to be slightly out of the norm for what they might believe. We are the church: Christ's bride and his loved people! We are to build one another up and not break them down! In Philippians 4:8 we are told to think of every thing noble, pleasing, and pure to God. It's not based on our standards whatsoever. It is simply based on His standards.

When others say we should be concerned with our own life and not worry about those around us and how they are living their life we aren't helping God's kingdom. God calls us to bear the burdens of one another and to help grow The Kingdom of Heaven. Therefore, we ARE to be concerned about our brothers. Not in the fact that we condemn them and go about bickering with one another because we think our belief is better than theirs. If we live according to God no belief is greater than the other because we would always be striving toward God's plans and desires rather than what we BELIEVE.

I guess I have just been greatly awoken to how we should be acting in the situations that are being presented to us. Before we act or speak we should know the whole story behind what happened and the real intentions, not the assumed intentions.

We are called to build up HIS Kingdom... Are you? Go! Build! Follow God!

Losing... But not really.

I love this song, couldn't agree more with these feelings. Check it out my friends! :)

Heart : Broken or Mended?

I can't decide whether this post is actually about boy problems, or friend problems. I mean, neither actually exists right now, but maybe it does. I'm not really sure.

You know, I find myself blogging the most when things start going awry, and I usually don't know why. Tonight, watching a movie by myself on my laptop I was so brutally reminded how cruel high school is to people. Not only did the movie remind me, but the last two days I have had did as well. Now don't get me wrong, I had a WONDERFUL day with two of my extremely wonderful friends, and I would LOVE to spend more time with them. However, as I made plans for things to do during these days away from home I became sidetracked by none other than a boy. One I hadn't seen in about two years and had possible lingering feelings for, but I wasn't quite sure at the time how I genuinely felt. I was hopeful and that was my biggest downfall. I wasn't going in hopes of a date or furthering of the friendship into something more. I was going to see how God handled things that I had handed over to him many times before and just recently even more so.

And boy did God have a way with this one. As many of you know, I have never been in a relationship in my life and sometimes I struggle with it. This time was no different, trust me. I have learned over time that I fall hard and fast, and I know it every step of the way unfortunately. I truly never intend to fall for anyone, but it happens because I try to take things into my hands rather than continuing to hand it over to God. Anyway, let me explain this situation. Having planned to meet up with this friend that I don't exactly know that well was yet another attempt to possibly meet a wonderful guy that I happened to slightly like. We had planned other times to meet up because each of us knew we kind of liked one another but didn't know if we would pursue anything. Shortly after he got a girlfriend and of course I became a thing of the past. Nothing new for me, but soon I was being contacted and he was still in a relationship... No, he wasn't cheating on his girlfriend by any means whatsoever. Trust me, he's a genuinely sweet guy. I became the person to talk to if need be, and I didn't exactly mind but then again I want others to know I'm always around if they need help. Sadly, I feel very responsible for the ending of that relationship between the two of them. I have no clue what he might have to say in this matter, but if I ever have the chance to apologize in person I will. I'm not sure I was the best confident in the fact that I still liked him just a smidge so I was slightly jealous from my forever single standpoint. I feel terrible still to this day. I never intended to keep these feelings around anymore, but they just seem to keep coming back. Maybe it's because there's a boy that actually told me he liked me and I liked him: that's a first in my life (FYI). So today and yesterday I guess were hopeful. I don't know if any of the... I guess it could be called ditching??...... was intentional, but it still hurt. In fact, it brought all the feelings I felt from high school back in a full rush at the same time.

I don't tell people my story... I'm ashamed of my story.... In fact, it's the reason I'm writing this blog without letting many people know that it even exists. If I told you how much hate I felt from being in high school you would never believe me. Why? because every time I entered that school I had an instant smile on my face, whether I wanted to or not. Yeah, it was usually a lie, and it hurt like none other some days, but to be completely honest, I wouldn't want it any different than it was. Yeah, high school was some of the worst years of my life, but you know what? It was also some of my most triumphant, joyous, glorious, and wonderful times as well. I know, that makes no sense, but hang in there and let me explain. When you enter high school it's a giant leap of faith, especially when you're me. You have no clue what to expect, you don't know who is your friend, and you don't know how to act. And to be completely honest, not a single one of those wasn't answered while I was in high school. I always hoped I would fit in, have someone to talk to, hang, and someone to hang around whenever we wanted to do something. This, however, never happened; at least not in my high school. I was the behind the scenes person, the backbone, the "mother" (although i hated the boys calling me that), and the person who was willing to talk to anyone in any need, at any time. But when you have a faith instilled in you that you have known since birth, it's hard to fit in with anyone. I saw EVERY side of every person in my high school from my freshman year, if not junior high, to my graduating day and beyond. I learned so much from each of these people and I can't say I hate them for it. I learned what I didn't want to be like, and I learned how to love people regardless of how someone has or is treating me.

While I never exactly made friend in MY high school because of my high standards for a friendship probably, I did make friends outside of it. I have some of THE most loving friends ever outside of those school halls. They have taught me how to trust, appreciate what I have, love someone because of who they truly are, and most importantly they have taught me how to love them because they love me for who I am.. .not for what I can do for them, and not because I can help them on a homework assignment, they look past what everyone else thinks, and they love me. I didn't know what it was like to have someone love me as a friend rather than a family member. I wouldn't trade that feeling for the world.

Now, I know I started out talking about boys and ended talking about friends, but really... what's the difference? They're both relationships. They both mean something to me. They're both something I struggle with. I don't hate the fact that I got "ditched" whatsoever. In fact, I believe God was telling me something. Dealing with mixed emotion and confusion got the best of me and I let it take away from my time with my near and dear friends. (which I will still apologize to my two friends for after I finish writing this) It cleared my thoughts, and I now know it's just not something (someone) I need to be striving for... And I'm ok with that. It hurt of course, but hey.. that's life sometimes. Maybe it would hurt less if I genuinely let God take this area under control rather than trying to control it myself every time I start wishing and hoping.

Take care my friends, I love you dearly... but even more importantly: God does. <3

Live Boldy. You ARE His.

When I was a little girl, and sometimes even to this day I struggle with the fact that I don't fit in and I AM different from everyone around me. It's often extremely difficult on me to sit at home and watch, or think, of all these people that I call my friends go out and spend time together, have fun, laugh, talk, and just enjoy each others' company every weekend while I on the other hand have spent every weekend known to man except a small number which I could probably count on two maybe even one hand at home by myself in self pity.

Recently however I have been getting a lot of convicting thoughts and reminders from God about all indulging in self-pity. I know I shouldn't think thoughts that hurt myself or are hateful toward myself, but it is SO hard sometimes and I just get trapped in the thoughts and they continue to drag me down deeper and deeper. Yeah, I live in a Christian community, but that doesn't mean I'm going to fit in.  When I was a young girl I ran across this poem/letter in our house at one point. When I first saw it I kind of blew it off and didn't bother reading it, but a few months later I found it again and it made me cry like I had never cried before.

I know you want to be accepted by others, but you
were not made to fit in. You, My princess, were created
to stand out. Not to draw attention to yourself,
but to live the kind of life that leads others to Me.
Remember, it’s your choices that will pave your path
to life. I will not force you to do anything. I have given
you a free will to walk with Me or to walk away from
Me. I want you to know that you can put on your
crown at any time and let people know that you
belong to Me. You have a royal call on your life. I want
you to remember you wear the crown of everlasting
life, and through you I will do abundantly more than
you would ever dare to dream.
Love,
Your King and Crown Giver

This letter comes from a book by Sheri Rose Sheperd called His Princess: Love Letters from Your King. It truly is amazing how some things can just hit a chord at just the right time in your life. (Thanks to the Big Guy of course)

Again, I do live in a small community where Christianity is what everyone does, but sometimes I feel like it just isn't enough. I feel like we're stuck in a rut where we are and we aren't willing to move forward. I want so badly to move forward in my relationship with Christ but it IS hard. I know part of it is my own fault, but I also believe part of it is from this community. I have said it so many times before, but I do believe Satan has quite the hold on this community even if it doesn't look like it all the time. I can feel it so heavily sometimes that it is paralyzing. It's scary. It's downright depressing. I fight until my heart is broken and worn out to try and get others to strive for Christ every day even more than they do already. We are complacent anymore about where we stand as Christians because we live in fear of being politically correct or of being condemned ourselves by those around us.

Really, the fact of the matter is, we all live in fear of pointing out that someone else is sinning and hating us for it. I believe that the word judge that we use so often in our daily lives has been distorted. We are not to judge someone, but how is telling a brother that they are sinning judging them? We ARE told to point out a brother's sin aren't we? If we don't aren't we just allowing them to fall even farther away from God? God tells us to point a sin out to brother and if they hate you for it you are to bring two more people with you to point it out. If they still do not listen you are to let the matter go.

WHY DON'T WE DO THIS DEED GOD HAS CALLED US TO DO?!

We are to help lead one another to Christ in a loving manner. If that requires standing out so be it! Be BOLD in Christ. Yes, you may lose some friends in the process, but we are reminded that why should we gain the whole world just to lose our very soul? You can count it all as loss. If you lose a friend because you are following Christ and seeking to become more like Him and you desire with all your heart to serve Him.... maybe they weren't the kind of person you should have been letting invest in your life. I don't say that to be mean, but out of the overflow of the heart the mouth speaks. It's the truth.

So dare to be bold in Christ, you'll lose friends, gain enemies, and find even greater allies along the way. But most importantly, you will find the ONE thing that matters most in life....God. It won't be easy, and it will have trials along the way. But I always try to remember this: If Jesus Christ endured the pain of dieing on the cross and I added to that pain why am I complaining? He felt the hurt of every single one of my sins, your sins, and the world's sins. I'm feeling short lived pain that will pass in a mere matter of moments to God. If I love God as much as Jesus Christ loves us and His father and was willing to give up His life for me, I can go through this momentary pain. I may not like it all the time, and yes it DOES hurt, but I have THE GREATEST GIFT I CAN EVER RECEIVE WAITING FOR ME after this is all over. And I can't wait until that day.

So how about you, are you ready to be BOLD and stand up for Christ?!