Healing a Broken Heart (part 2)

If you missed part 1, read it here.

In the process of recovering I had many family, friends, and acquaintances with good intentions hurt me more than help me with their words and advice. While I won't name names, I would like to take a moment to address how we approach those with a broken heart. To do so, I would like to list a few of the most hurtful things I heard:

• "Oh, he wasn't good for you, you'll find someone better now."
• "He's stupid, and you're better off now."
• "Oh you need to just pray and forget it, you're holding onto it too much."(less than 1 month after the breakup.)
• "You need to go to this spiritual healing conference, we'll even pay for it so you can go."

These are just the ones that have stuck with me most that I've had to work through. While most people don't intend for the words they say to come across as harsh, most don't consider how they felt when they experienced a similar crushing blow. Life does a complete 180 degree flip in the matter of days and it's something that takes a bit to gain your bearings again.

Now, to address the comments made above....

• If you felt he wasn't good for me in the relationship, why didn't you tell me then.... I would've listened....
• Don't tell someone their choice was stupid, especially if you didn't know the other person... Even if you did, you don't need to side with or against me, just encourage me to keep my faith and head up.... The fact that you say he is stupid makes me feel like I was stupid not to see him like you saw him and that apparently my judgement is off.
• Grieving isn't a one day process. It takes a lot of time and energy.., both physically and spiritually. I finally got tired of mourning my situation and feeling Satan was rejoicing in my pain and that's when I could finally heal and move forward. Don't tell me my grieving is excessive when I'm taking steps to understand what just hit me. If I'm still mourning it just as deeply 6 months after the fact, then you can confront me in my grieving process, but less than a month out is ridiculous especially since you don't know the extent of what I'm mourning.
• And lastly, I appreciate your concern about my spiritual healing, but if you feel so bold as to suggest the trip, pay for it, not explain it, and just assume you know where my healing process is without even consulting me, I'm going to take offense at that. Don't assume you know where my heart is and that you know what I need. Talk to me, hear my heart, don't make assumptions and prescribe a fix... It feels like you're belittling my faith.

So, while I wish I could say there is a 100% surefire way to get over a broken heart that literally knocks you to the floor, I can't. Grieving the end of a  relationship is healthy when handled in a way that is brought before our Father... My best advice is to seek Godly counsel. Be angry with God if you have to, but don't turn away from Him. Take it all to him. Everything. Put yourself on the line and let Him bear this burden with you. Even when you don't feel His presence, pray. He's always there. Always present. Always listening. Sometimes we just have a hard time being able to feel it as easily because of our circumstances. Trust the maker of your heart, and know He knows your heart's hurts and desires. But take them to Him! He longs to hear our heart's cries, to comfort, console, embrace.

To those who interact with an individual experiencing a broken heart, be understanding and considerate. Don't press for conversation, but offer your support to be there if they need anything; whether that be talking(consider your words and meanings before speaking), going out to eat, listening( knowing you don't necessarily need to be providing answers), or inviting him/her out to do something. Be a constant beacon of support... even if that means silently. Pray. Above all, brothers and sisters, I urge you to pray. The Great Healer is the best medicine in this situation. Pray without ceasing. Pray for comfort and healing. Pray from the bottom of your heart and pray knowing the Sympathizer and Empathizer is listening and knows the heart of the person you're praying for better than you do. Pray for their unknown and/or unspoken needs. Just lift them up!

To those experiencing their own broken heart right now, you're not alone. By any means. I pray healing, comfort, understanding, peace, and most of all, I pray you feel God holding your heart and reminding you of His deep never ending love He has for you. You are so precious in the eyes of your Father no matter where you are at in the grieving process. Do what you need to do to heal, and know that even if it feels like no one is supporting you, that you have at least 2 people who understand the pain, and they both support you... Me... And most importantly, God.