I'm not really one to get "homesick" persay... I mean, yeah.. I miss my bed, a real shower, having somewhere to go when I'm tired of homework, and someone to talk to when I'm feeling a little down.
Ok, I'll admit it... I'm a bit homesick today... Then again I've been inside studying and reviewing for two quizzes and an exam that I'll have tomorrow. I miss having a distinct line between me time (home) and school time (homework and people). It just doesn't exist here. College puts everything in the same place. I'm tired of my room, I feel like I'm captive to everything around me including myself, and I just don't like it.
Don't get me wrong, college is ok and I'm here for the education, but I miss having space away from the same ole same ole every second of my life. I guess it's a good thing I'm going to be getting out of this place a year earlier than planned. Because honestly, I don't think I would be able to last four years. This isn't my environment whatsoever. I'm not a person who wants to be "free" from the "constraints" of my parents. I became a home body in high school and I don't really feel like that needs to change. While my brother quickly became a people person once he left home and fit right in with the group of people around there, I feel completely trapped.
I guess part of this could be due to the fact that I made a quick trip home this weekend... and boy was it short to say the least.... When I got back all I had to look forward to was homework and cussing.
The only thing I want to do right now is cry. And you know what? I don't see anything wrong with that. I have had a long day, and I have definitely had a recurring theme coming to me everywhere I turn. And that theme is: Let go and let God.
I don't really have much more to say tonight seeing as I am mentally worn out and I feel like things are becoming a difficulty more than anything to me right now so I think I'm just going to leave this post a rough post. It fits how I'm feeling today. I know after my quizzes and exam I'll probably feel tons better, but right now all I can do is "Let go and let God."
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