Your Mouth Speaks What Fills Your Heart

Well... It has been quite some time since I last posted, but for good reasons, I promise. I don't think I have been this worn out from studying and lack of sleep in a LONG time. To be completely honest, I guess I'm just coming to terms with the fact that I concentrate and work so much right before an exam. To me it doesn't seem like much at the time, but it has slowly been adding up and I am officially noticing how much I really do. So now that I have basically taken a day to do very little (partly due to terrible back pain and headaches), and also getting a nap in for the first time this week, I'm going to sit here and post about one of my previously mentioned items on my list.

I will actually be grouping a couple together this time because they are so closely related.

1.  The dorms make me feel emotions I wish didn't exist.
7.  I ever so greatly dislike dorm life.
11.  Everywhere I turn there are people.
16.  Just because you live on the same floor as them doesn't mean you have to share everything with them.

 So those are the topics I have chosen to talk about in this post, here we go!

As number one and number seven say very clearly, I DO NOT enjoy living in the dorms. Now don't get me wrong, I enjoy being around the people I have met, but I just don't have any space that is my own. There are so many people here that.. well, I'm not sure if they just don't know how to be considerate of others they are living with, or if they truly don't care in the first place......That has been my biggest thing I have had to accept, not everyone was raised with manners and I can't do much about it. To go along with that... these people are EVERYWHERE!!!! I don't mind being around people whatsoever, but there is a point where it just gets overbearing. (That was about 2 months ago for me.) I have, since moving in, moved to a different room which helped a slight bit in the fact that I have a place in which I feel comfortable and welcome in when I want to be there and I have a wonderful roommate who is very cheery and energetic. (Reminds me of myself when I was younger... so much energy!)

This leads me to the point of "Just because you live on the same floor as them doesn't mean you have to share everything with them" and the fact that I felt emotions I wish didn't exist. As I just stated, I have moved rooms recently and learned a great deal in the process of decidng to move.  While I could have probably stayed in the room I was already in, my roommate and I seemed to constantly make jabs and punches at one another all the time; whether in a joking manner or out of true anger toward one another. I have never felt so NEGATIVE and MEAN in my entire life.. I hated feeling like that all the time and just had to figure out what to do. Of course I prayed and prayed about what to do and nothing came for the longest time. Then, a week before I actually decided to move out a girl on our floor moved from her room to another dorm. I didn't really think much of it until things in my room continued to spiral downward. I continued to talk to my mom and brother about the situation until the day I made a rude and unnecessary remark to my roommate in which I decided that the arguments had gone far enough at that point. I was beginning to become like the people I was around all the time, and I didn't want that. There was so much cussing, negativity, anger, jealously, and so many other emotions that I was becoming a part of it as well and I didn't want to have that happen. and I firmly believe that,

Out of the overflow of the heart, the mouth speaks. (Luke 6:45)

 I was proof of it, and I continue to see it in some of the other girls here as well. In the process of all this there were a LOT of other things going on at the time as well, including finding out who I can and can't talk to about certain things without it being spread (welcome to small town feel again). I was being attacked by Satan left and right so say the least, and he was using the people around me that I had just met to his advantage of that. I have spent so much time in prayer this semester and I LOVE it!!! It's not just the bad things, it's every thing in between, but I'm getting ahead of myself! Those are topics to be discussed further in depth in future posts!!!

Musings of a College Girl

Well, I'm not exactly posting as often as I wish I were, but hey... I guess I post when I'm free and that is totally enough for me. Between finding down time just to waste I guess (I REALLY want to spend this time better though) and doing homework to the point I'm mentally exhausted I try not to add more "assignments" to my day. Granted, I do enjoy writing, but it's really been on the back burner over the last couple of years.

Anyway, that's not why I'm posting. I thought I would make a post from the perspective of a freshman college student seeking God; and as many of you know, sometimes I just get off on a rant. So, in order to keep myself on a structured post I am going to delve into some of my experiences by first listing some things I didn't expect when I got here, things I have encountered that I just feel have been "important" as I have been here so far, and just some things I feel deserve to be discussed that aren't always mentioned about college.

So, now for the list.  I will try my best to keep it quick and concise for now and then will explain their meaning in more depth in later posts.

1.  The dorms make me feel emotions I wish didn't exist.
2.  Sometimes I just wish there was a spot I could go that no one knows about or ever will know about.
3.  All of the cussing around me has helped me appreciate how I was raised.
4.  My roommate has helped me realize how blessed I am to live in the family I do.
5.  I have only recently discovered how "not-sheltered" I am, and I have discovered how privileged I have been to have had these experiences in my life.
6.  I still don't know what I am going to do for sure with my life after I graduate.
7.  I ever so greatly dislike dorm life.
8.  I'm not homesick, I'm "people-sick."
9.  My faith in God has been my saving grace.
10.  Love. Lust. Boys. : Why is everyone boy crazy? o.O
11.  Everywhere I turn there are people.
12.  Christian fellowship is more important now than ever.
13.  If you put forth an effort, you can, and most likely will, succeed.
14.  Sometimes you just have to say NO!
15.  Stand up for what you believe in, even if it means you lose a friend or two.
16.  Just because you live on the same floor as them doesn't mean you have to share everything with them.
17.  Take time to relax. Don't stress.
18.  Don't let disappointment or discouragement prevent you from thanking God or seeking God for that matter. (Even if it sounds odd.)
19.  The first few weeks (or first month) do not determine how the rest of your life is going to go. You have that control.
20.  Learn to love your parents in the littlest ways. Talk to them when you can.

Now, I could sit here for hours thinking of things that have happened since I have been here, and I probably would, but that's not exactly the most efficient thing to do. I know it's quite the list, but if you so desire, I would love for you to stick around for a while and muse with me.

So for now, Love and Blessings my friends.